Get your "Snake Oil"... er, "Nostrum"... er, "Consciousness Shift"!!! Don't be left behind...
Howdy, rubes... er, folks. I have an idea that will change your life forever. It's called "Thinking outside the box". For too long we have been subjected to the mindless control that is empirical evidence, reason & logic. These methods of control have been imposed upon us by the scientific community & the governments of the world. These destroyers of personal freedom must be stopped & I'll show you how.
What, you ask, are my qualifications? To this I answer... none. But I don't need any because I am free of the restraints of the old established ways of thinking i.e. the so called "Logic,
Reason & Common Sense" of those who threaten my livelihood... er, ability to "think outside the box".
I had a near death experience whilst being analy probed by "Greys" & I awoke days later with "Secret Ancient Knowledge" that has been hidden from us by the world's most "Secret Societies" for millennia. During my N.D.E. I met a spirit guide who taught me all the "Secret Knowledge" of the universe & since then have received regular messages from her. You can too...
She has sent me on a quest to enlighten the human beings of the world & free them from the little extra cash they have in their wallets & purses... er, the oppression of those who control their freedom of thought. My spirit guide has taught me the ancient methods with which to control an initiate... er, used by the initiate to obtain the most "Secret of Secrets". These methods include the use of fear, confusion, drugs, isolation & brainwashing... er, revelation & meditation upon "Universal Truths" which have been revealed to me alone.
Mine is a message of hope & freedom for humanity & the evolution of consciousness; a universe of freedom of thought, peace & love for all. "Trust me"... If you find yourself in doubt about my intentions, it's merely a normal stage in your detoxification of consciousness & means you still don't trust yourself. It will pass as we prepair to enter the "New Age of Free Thought". The religions of the world have failed you... Let me take over where they left off... er, take you on a journey of Truth.
If you have any need for a more thorough understanding of how to "Shift Your Consciousness", I hold nightly "Healing Sessions" in which ladies, single or not, 18-30, are invited to unleash & receive the knowledge of the universe that has been bestowed unto me. I'm well endowed with spiritual prowess & all the better to unsnap that bra strap & get in those panties... er, "unite our consciousness."
In closing I must inform you that your window of opportunity to become enlightened is closing fast as we near the end of the "Mayan Calendar, the Christian End Times, Mutually Assured Destruction & U.F.O. Disclosure". If you're going to free your mind & finally begin to "think outside the box" why not allow me to be your guide? I won't burden your consciousness with "Truth, Reason, Common Sense & Logic". Be free my brothers & sisters... "Believeth in what thou wilt". Believe in U.F.O.s, the Easter Bunny, Bigfoot, Littlefoot & the Great Flying Spaghetti Monster because, they exist my friends!!! Start thinking outside the box & save the world...
Above all else, believe everything I say...
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